My 4 favourite Tantra 101 books you’ll love (this is Tantra for the 21st Century)

Lots of curious folks who are new to Tantra ask me for good books to get started. 

So I’ve curated a list of my favourite tried-and-tested Tantra, conscious relating, and sex-positivity books.

Image: Roy Lichtenstein,  Nude Reading , 1994.

Image: Roy Lichtenstein, Nude Reading, 1994.

These books are really accessible, practical, and here to help you have mind-blowing sex for the 21st Century.

Combining ancient Tantra with contemporary sex positivity, they’re a perfect introduction. They also have a lot of depth, so you can go from Newbie to Magic-Weaving Sex Artist from start to finish. 

Sound good?

Check 'em out:

Urban Tantra

Barbara Carrellas

Urban Tantra is a book about consciousness that happens to be a sex guide. It's for everyone who would like to have more sexual and spiritual ecstasy in their lives. 

Super accessible, this book shows you how sacred sex can be practiced anywhere from ashrams to a lap dancing parlors—and in the time you actually have available in your busy life.

Combining the principles of ancient Tantra with contemporary sex positivity, I also love Urban Tantra cos it’s the first queer, transgender, and BDSM friendly book. Conscious and delicious sex for everyone: whether or not you have a partner, no matter what your age, sexual preferences or gender.

You can explore the gold in this book step-by-step (as if going to your own private workshop), or jump in and try out any of the 100+ exercises.

Click here to find out more about this cheeky and frisky guide to epic sex in the twenty-first century.

Sacred Sexual Healing: The SHAMAN Method of Sex Magic

Baba Dez & Kamala Devi

This is a super powerful book by Baba Dez, the guy who started the International School of Temple Arts (amaaazing), and his pal, Kamala Devi.

Sacred Sexual Healing has a great theoretical introduction to Tantra and then it gets into some life- and bedroom-transforming practices about Tantra, conscious sexuality, and sex magic. 

'Sex magic' is about using the energy of your sexuality as a prayer to transform, heal, and manifest. 

Just like the sun powers up solar panels, your sexual energy can be harnessed to do incredible things. Amazing, huh?

This book shows you how to:

  • Fall in love with yourself as if you were your own lover
  • Release guilt, shame and fear about sex and step into your empowered sexual self.
  • Increase your orgasmic potential
  • Have super healthy relationships where everyone has their needs met (emotional, physical, and otherwise)
  • Direct your sexual energy to manifest your deepest desires
  • Go beyond performance anxiety and learn how to really satisfy yourself and your partner.

I love how this book connects something religion has kept apart: sex and spirituality. 

Click here to find out more about Sacred Sexual Healing: The SHAMAN Method of Sex Magic.

Note: this book has a great intro, but the practices are a little more advanced. If any of these practices don’t make sense, get in touch with me! I can take you through them. Or, start with Urban Tantra first, then move onto this book. Or, come to the International School of Temple Arts level 1 retreat  where you’ll be guided through a lot of these practices. Seriously, get there: Life. Changing.

if this book ever feels a little heteronormative, just remember that ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’ are not tied to cultural constructs of ‘man’ or ‘penis’ or ‘woman’ or ‘vagina’. Everyone is on the spectrum and have both masculine and feminine polarities (and everything in between). 

Orgasm Unleashed

Eyal Matsliah

Orgasm Unleashed guides you in deepening and expanding your orgasmic experience, first by yourself and then with your lover. 

It's an awesome book about female orgasm. Recommended for anyone who has a vagina, or interacts with one.

Orgasm Unleashed is easy to understand and has lots of practices to help you:

  • Reach for-real fulfilling orgasms (even if you’ve never had one, or frequently experience pain during sex)
  • Experience a range of different (super yummy) orgasms
  • Increase the orgasmic potential of your whole body (not just your clit)
  • Extend your orgasms beyond the short sharp clitoral orgasms, into long ones (that last hours, even)
  • Heal your fears about intimacy through your own body
  • Harness your sexual energy to become more creative, confident and successful in all areas of life (sex magic, baby!)

I learnt heaps of practical things in this book, and also love how it looks at the way your sexuality impacts the rest of your life: relationship, career, body-image, lots. This is really important to me: I’ve noticed how much my sensuality affects how I am in my own body, the choices I make, the power I claim, the ability for me to let go… This book supports you in creating an orgasmic LIFE.

Click here to find out more about Orgasm Unleashed (you can also download a free sample).

Note: this book is a bit hetero- and gender-normative. That being said, it’s wisdom is definitely accessible to queer and gender-fluid folks too. I'm queer too. Don’t be put off! Queer it up: for example, I get my pen out and annotate ‘theirs’ over the pronouns.

Intimate Communion: Awakening Your Sexual Essence

David Deida

Ever feel like your sex life and relationships are a bit sexually neutralised? Ever wonder why you’re often attracted to particular types of people? Or worried about why you’re no longer attracted to the one you go to bed with? 

This is a fantastic book that gives an insightful understanding of relationship dynamics. 

Intimate Communion elegantly and intelligently explores how to keep your relationships growing, vibrant, and expansive. Intimate Communion guides you in creating relationships that are spiritually erotic, sexually deep, and passionately—genuinely—committed to love. While this book is about relationships, it all starts with your primary relationship: you. 

This book is written by David Deida. You may have heard of him: he's a Tantra heavyweight! And for good reason: he’s been gathering insights and techniques for growing intimacy over 20 years of consulting, research and spiritual practice.

Click here to find out more about Intimate Communion: Awakening Your Sexual Essence.

Note: as above, if this book ever feels a little heteronormative, just remember that ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’ are not tied to cultural constructs of ‘man’ or ‘penis’ or ‘woman’ or ‘vagina’. Everyone is on the spectrum and have both masculine and feminine polarities (and everything in between). 

I hope you enjoy these books :)

Remember, the best way to learn is to do: not just know the theory with your mind, but understand it with you mind, heart, and body. Make sure you invite your full being into the experience (not just your mind). This means practise what you’re reading! Feel it.

That’s where real magic happens.

Workshops are also an amazing way to learn with every fibre of your being. And you get to quiz the master! Check out what workshops I'm running here.

Would love your feedback and other book recommendations too, so do lemme know your thoughts.


Cait xx