I’m not sure if you saw on IG or FB already, but I have big news.
I’m moving to Thailand! To be with my beloved.
We met at ISTA level 1 in South Africa in December last year.
We hit it off. Fell in love. Big time. Like, cosmic-Star-Twin-rom-com kinda big time.
This man is really special. He’s a Venn Diagram of all the best stuff I could possibly ever dream of. It’s like someone went into my mind/heart and plucked out my favourite parts of humans, art, philosophy, sexuality, politics, relating, spirituality, adventure, cheekiness and made a person out of it all.
I didn’t know someone like this could exist.
Meeting him makes me reconsider what’s possible in this life, this world. It's turned me upside down, inside out. Questioning everything I think I know is 'true' or 'likely', for the first time in my life, I truly believe that anything is possible. The best, biggest, most delicious realities are possible.
In love. In relationships. In friends, community, careers, money… The best and brightest things are possible. Things we could imagine orchestrating ourselves…
And even with this new sense of expansive possibility… It’s been a scary decision to move to Thailand for us to be together.
I’ve been shitting myself, actually.
My fear hasn’t been about our relationship, but rather with my career and projects. Moving to Thailand, I quit my job to go full time with this work: helping people…
// get out of their head and into their body,
// remove the blocks that keep them small and disconnected,
// experience authentic love for themselves, with others, with the world.
But what if I move to Thailand and it all fucks out? What if I kind of suck and end up poor and tired?!
Like, is anything truly possible? For me? Or is it just for other people? (This has been a fear/belief of mine.)
Can I really follow my heart? Will everything be ok if I just let go and trust?
I teach people about tuning into authentic desire. What feels good? What feels expansive, gives you a sense of becoming more yourself, not less? Follow that!
And so now, I must take my own medicine! Not just in the bedroom, but in my career, my art, my relationship.
Follow your joy. Your bliss, your joy, your pleasure are a compass for your soul to expand. Your bliss takes you closer to who you really are.
And so, with excitement, fear, trust and authentic desire, I am moving to Thailand to go full time with my projects (stay tuned for some big and exciting new stuff).
And for the fear and terror of the unknown and uncertainty, what I have come to remember again and again…
You (and I) are not alone. You are not a lone mammal battling uphill through a booby-trap life; you are pure divine power that has been expressed in exactly your form.
Your eyes, your heart, your curiosities, your talents, your YOU.
You are Life Force, incarnate.
Just as Life Force moved in its magical ways to produce the Karijini:
And birds of paradise:
You are an expression of this incredible power.
You are divine.
You have access to Source power, help, support.
Woaaaaah. Take that in!
How can we worry when we have this support? When we are held in this powerful fabric? This exquisite intricate dance that is so intelligent, so perfectly orchestrating?
You are connected to the entire Universe; you’re not alone.
In retrospect, the single fundamental reason for my severe mental health issues in my twenties was because I forgot this. I forgot that I am not alone, battling uphill, juggling, dodging through the gauntlet of life.
So, this is what I remind myself. Even now, daily, when I still get anxious and panicked.
I am allowed to SURRENDER. Melt. Let go. Trust. FOLLOW MY HEART.
Because my joy, my bliss is an accurate compass to my freedom and love.
Because I am not alone.
Because I have access to divine power (I am divine power).
Because surrendering to the mystery is the best thing we can ever do.
This divine fabric in which I am snuggly held expresses itself in all sorts of practical ways, not just cosmic; I have tangible supports that I am making the most of to help me on my way:
My close friends and soul family,
a business coach,
I’m doing a money-healing course with Bari Tessler,
I have four mentors and a therapist who I call on when I need.
I have my ugg boots and rooibos.
Nature is healing
Meditation Oracle cards
A financial advisor
What about you? What is your heart’s desire? What would following your joy, your bliss look like for you?
It doesn't have to mean moving countries: perhaps it’s something small, something simple. Perhaps it’s more time in nature, setting time aside to make your art, telling that person how you really feel. Or perhaps it’s getting out of that fucking job, starting that business.
Can you give yourself an act of incredible self-love and let yourself follow your pleasure, your bliss?
Can you let yourself notice that you are in fact not a drop in the ocean, but an ocean in one drop? That you are connected to the entire Universe, that you’re not alone?
Can you let yourself just let go? Surrender? Trust that you don’t have to have such tight control, that it’s all gonna be ok?
You can! You're allowed to!
I'm doing the best to do the same.