I learnt heaps at all the workshops—they were combination of cool, woah and aha! I thought I'd share the key gems from my fave workshops.* And you can see what we got up to!
Are you SlowSex, a 72 year old Tantra Queen, and how sexual fantasies can diagnose your soul’s needs? I’ll tell you all about it in a three-part series this week.
Here’s the first gem:
SlowSex: what it is, why it’s awesome and how to do it
Imagine sex where you didn’t have to ‘get it right’. Make sure your partner comes. Be the best lay they’ve ever had. Every time.
SlowSex is about removing sexual scripts—removing expectations and goals. In SlowSex it’s ok to relax! It’s about creating room for really being with your partner. It's about deepening intimacy.
So what is SlowSex exactly? Well, the name says it. It’s sex where there is no minimum speed. That is, you may be inside each other and be completely still. For hours. While you're really conscious—a bit like in meditation. There is no aim of reaching orgasm or direct ‘stimulation’ like in regular sex.
During the workshop, I thought “but wouldn't that get boring??”
According to all the testimonials I heard, what happens is you become more sensitive to touch. Connection. You discover different rhythms you were too one-track-minded to follow previously. You experience your partner like never before. You let go and relax. You feel nourished, centered and alive. You rewire your brain. From sex.
So how do you do it?
Together with your partner you set the intention of making this a slow sexy time. Then like in regular penetrative sex, you enter your partner, consciously and slowly. And stay there. Holding each other. Feeling. Breathing together. You may move, but remember there is no goal to come (though you very well may). Magic happens. After 30mins-2 hours you bring sexy time to a close.
There is no pressure to stay hard, do anything, say anything. You’re just being there with each other. Allowing sexual energy to flow through you.
Like in meditation, you really feel the effects of the practice when you do it regularly. Each time you do it, you can relax even more, find new territories, feel more connection and pleasure.
Know that SlowSex isn’t the only sex you ‘should’ have. It’s particularly awesome for increasing connection and intimacy. Other sex is great for other things—play, heat, passion, hilarity. Go forth and follow your desire.
SlowSex is one of the important flavours you add to your sexual pantry that can, it seems, transform everything.
I’m gonna try it! Are you?
Till next time,