How do you feel about stripping?
Despite being sex-positive and loving to dance sexy (with friends, cuties, at parties, in my room, at 5Rhythms, workshops), stripping made me feel icky.
To me, it seemed like the pleasure was all for the voyeur (and in clubs, often 'seedy' men). It felt like a performance, artificial—like the sexuality was on steroids and just to get the voyeur off.
Plus, the power dynamics felt weird...
I felt stripping = not for me.
And despite loving to dance sexy for myself and with friends, I wasn’t into stripping or sexy dancing for my own lovers. I got too in my head, was too put-off.
Until I went to a sacred stripping workshop by Annetta Luce at Taste of Love festival.
She’s a dance phenomenon. Trained in New York with the history-makers of modern dance, she combines sacred sexuality, shamanism (Nagual Lujan Matus lineage), martial arts, Capoeira, Body/mind Centering and contact improvisation into her stripping classes.
Needless to say, the gender-inclusive workshop completely flipped my mind about stripping and sexy dancing.
The complete inverse of my assumptions, Annetta showed me how stripping can be a meditation, an act of self-love. A way to make love to yourself. To deepen the love for your body, sensuality.
She showed me how stripping can be super sexually empowering, fun, energising. For the dancer and the voyeur.
I discovered how to sexy dance without being so in your head.
And the big thing: that stripping can be an avenue to strip layers of yourself, not just your clothes. Through stripping, you can break your own mould and find a more authentic you.
It’s all very Tantric!
Ok, great. But perhaps you’re thinking as soon as I start ‘sexy dancing’ for a lover, I feel on-the-spot and awkward… How do you strip with confidence? Without being so in your head?
Find out more about sacred stripping and get tips from the professionals.
The tips super accessible, very aha! Ok! I can do this! They're for anyone who's game: women, men and gender-queer folks.
5 keys for the sexiest bedroom stripping
1. Strip layers of yourself, not just your clothes
This is massive.
Annetta talks about stripping as a “stripping the conditioning of how you ‘should’ be in your body. How you move. The way you seduce.”
We have so many conditions about what ‘sexy’ looks like. What’s right for a ‘good girl’. How a ‘man’ should move. The key thing with stripping is stripping layers of yourself, not just your clothes. You need to let your imprints disintegrate and break your own mould.
Your body will tell you what ‘sexy’ looks like. It will teach you new ways of moving—if you listen, if you dare to experiment.
Give yourself the permission. Listen and follow your body, not your mind. And become present…
2. A sexy meditation: become present & feel your body
Just like in meditation, the sexiest sexy dancing requires you to be present.
Stop watching yourself and thinking about how you look. What the voyeur is thinking.
Breathe. Move. Mindfully. Focus your attention on the sensations in your body. Connect with your sexual (life force) energy.
Another key aspect of this is about being mindful and specific in the way you move. Annetta says, “don’t serve yourself up any-old-way.” Don’t just flap your arms around in a ‘sexy’ way and swish your hips. Feeeeel your hip move to the left, dip… sway. Feel your arm extend and every bit of your wrist unfurrrrl.
Really mean and feel every move.
And, with this awareness, let yourself enjoy the way your body feels as you move. Feel the weight and sensation of your cock, breasts, thighs, pussy, belly…
3. This is for you, not them: turn yourself on
Who is stripping for? It’s not about trying to be loved and wanted by the voyeur. Contrary to what you might think, it’s actually for you, the dancer.
For super seductive, magnetic sexy dancing, dance as though you are your own lover. Enjoy your own body. Annetta says, “enjoy the anticipation of your own hands. Don’t be afraid to turn yourself on, get hot.” Make love to yourself on the dance floor through the music, touch, sensation, breath... Being present to the sensations in your body really helps this.
And you know what happens as a delicious result? You attract the voyeur, hotter than ever.
And, the power in this approach to self-pleasure: the more pleasure you create and invite into your body, the more your attitude and expression in life changes. What happens in the bedroom (or dance floor) happens outside of it too.
4. Skin, skin, skin
Your skin is a system. It has no boundaries: the skin on your arm connects to the skin on your shoulder, neck, chest, nipples, belly, genitals, asshole, inner thighs… you get my point.
When you touch your arm, you’re touching your shoulder, neck, chest, nipples, belly… It’s all connected.
When you’re dancing and touch yourself, feel that.
When you’re dancing, feel the sensuality of your hand on your neck and feel it in your genitals. It’s all connected. When you touch your belly, touch your belly as if you’re touching your butt.
Every touch is touching your whole self.
Try it right now: touch your neck and—using your imagination—feel the sensation in other parts of your body.
This is SUCH a freakin’ turn-on. OMG.
5. You can be silly
Annetta reminds us not to worry too much if we’re doing it ‘right’.
“The body loves imagination. Let it out! Play. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Imagine you are weightless… A wolverine... A power tool... Honey... The ocean...”
Basically, strip yourself bare and see what comes out to play. Enjoy yourself :)
Lots of love,
P.S. I’d just like to note, I understand that not everyone who strips has the opportunity to choose to do it how, when and for whom they please. These tips are not to judge anyone professional erotic dancers for how they might strip. Instead, these tips relish in an aspect of stripping I (and many others!) didn’t know was there. I encourage you to experiment with this yourself.