I went to Jesse’s Art of Zen Spanking workshop at Taste of Love Festival. It was awesome.
Zen spanking is a form of impact play that’s fun, pleasurable, deep and empowering.
Rather than fast and furious spanks (which can be fun too), Zen spanking takes a mindful approach to spanking that slows it riiiight dowwwn. It uses principles of yang (action) and yin (spaciousness) to consciously move energy so pleasure, connection and expansion are amplified.
It also flips ‘expected’ power roles in impact play. The spankee is in charge; the spanker is in service. Letting go in this space can be incredibly empowering for the spankee. Facilitating an experience can be an incredibly humbling and generous experience for the spanker. Both can experience immense pleasure.
There is a whole art to this form of spanking and we’re hosting a workshop in Melbourne for you to experience it first hand (so to speak). Learn the techniques, experience the bliss as both spanker and spankee.
In the meantime, here’s a taster with five of my favourite things from my experience with the Art of Zen Spanking.
1. Boundaries, consent & communication
This is huge for Zen spanking. And it’s one of my favourite aspects of mindful sexuality.
To create a super safe space in order to totally let go, both spanker and spankee need to be on the same page in terms of boundaries and authentic desire before you start.
By communicating what you need in terms of pace, intensity, positions, clothing, pauses, check-ins, both parties can get out of their head and into the experience. Authentic desire + communicating boundaries = safe space for magic to happen.
The very act of communicating what you want can be super empowering. You’re claiming what you want. You have power.
To do this, tune into your body, heart and mind and search for your Fuck Yes! before you start. Stay connected to this throughout and check in/speak up if anything needs to change to make the experience more enjoyable.
2. Giving, receiving & power
This is a nice flip what you might expect from spanking...
Often, we think of the spanker as the person who has power over the spankee; they do what they like to the spankee. There’s nothing wrong with that—it can be awesome!— but it’s not the whole story of what’s possible in spanking.
In Zen spanking, the spanker is in service to the spankee. If they’re working in their full consent, they’ll definitely be experiencing pleasure too, but their primary role is to hold a safe space for the spankee and give them an opportunity to surrender and experience delicious pleasure and possibility.
Both spanker and spankee operate in their authentic desire, but the spankee is always in charge. Through communicating boundaries and needs, they’re actually the one who’s running the show. And, in their power, they can totally let go.
As the spanker, it can be super empowering to hold such a delicate space for the spankee. And pleasurable too.
In my experience, this is a big way spanking can become an avenue of personal development, a form of fun and powerful therapy.
3. Go slow, soften & relax
I’ve been to spanking workshops before, but this was new and profound for me.
Zen spanking is about mindfully experiencing sensation and moving energy around the body. To do this, your body needs to feel soft and relaxed, rather than tight and tense.
So, how do you soften and relax? Start slow. Going too hard too soon with create tension and closing in the spankee’s body. Feel every sensation and savour it. With each spank, let the energy ripple throughout your body. Use breath, sound and movement to let whatever emotion comes up move through you.
As the spanker, have a soft hand: not floppy, but not rigid. Feel the energy in your belly and let it rise to your hands. On each stroke, let your hand soften as it makes contact with the spankee. This allows the energy to move with flow. And it deepens the connection between you and the spankee.
4. Yang spanks & yin space
And this took it even deeper…
Like a pebble’s ripples in the water, a wave of energy rushes through the spankee’s body after every thwack. Savour that. Don’t rush: the space after each spank is precious. If the impact is the yang, the spacious flow of energy is the yin. Both together make a yummy spanking experience.
The more attention you bring to each moment of spank and ripple, the more those moments expand… The pleasure, intensity, flow amplifies. Delish.
5. Aftercare: gentle connection & the savasana of Zen spanking
This is so important! The tenderness, sweetness and care really comes alive here...
Sometimes spanking can be kind of intense and include lots of terrain: pleasure, emotion, release, grief, connection, wildness… Having a time for rest and gentle connection helps the spankee come back to themselves, let go even more and melt deeper into a sense of care, safety and comfort.
Before you start the spanking, find out what aftercare the spankee would like after the spanking comes to a close. To be held? To have a blanket put on them? To snuggle? When the spanking session comes to an end, begin aftercare and let yourselves both melt, reflect and enjoy this savasana of Zen spanking.
Experience this for yourself at our upcoming workshop!
Dive deeper into the Art of Zen Spanking—join master Jesse Thomas Hall and myself (plus other cool cats) for a one-day workshop.
10-4pm, Sat May 20
Pulse, 1 Pitt Street Brunswick, Melbourne
$80 early bird (until 3 May, limited tickets) / $120 regular