“Am I making progress? Is my healing *really* working?”
My friend called me today with eyes full with tears.
Through sobs, she said, “I’m afraid the hurt and pain I experienced as a kid has gone so deep that I’ll be broken forever. I’m just not sure that all the healing work can tackle it. I’m scared I’ll always be like this, that I’ll never be free.”
I get it.
At times I’ve felt like that too.
Especially after all the time, effort and energy I’d put into healing. To becoming okay. And yeah, seeing some changes, but still not being where I wanted to be…
Like, will this ever end?
Am I actually making progress or is this some kind of endless un-fun labyrinth?
Perhaps you can relate?
If you’ve been feeling like this, here are a few things to remember,
1. Destruction can happen quickly. Creation happens slowly.
Think of a forest. Lightning strikes and zaps a tree ⚡ It’s fried. Just like that.
How long does it take for the forest to grow another tree? To replenish the greenery that was lost? For the birds to repopulate the branches?
It takes time, but it happens. Regeneration happens. Restoration happens.
All of nature has a blueprint to survive and thrive. To restore harmony.
You have this blueprint too.
You’re becoming whole again. It’s happening, slowly.
2. Just because there are 'broken' parts, doesn’t mean you’re not healing.
Life is a balance of opposites: night and day, dark and light, pain and pleasure, wins and losses.
You will always have a mix of these polarities in your life.
Always.
There will be things that are working and there will be things that aren’t.
There will be things that go right and things that don’t.
There will be good days and bad days.
The bad days don’t mean the good days aren’t happening. That they will never happen...
Relax and know that whatever is with you now will pass. It’s also a law of nature.
And if you have a bad day or a 'broken' part throws itself at you, it's okay. It's life and you're doing just fine.
3. What you resist persists, so accept where you’re at and trust the process.
The more you try and get rid of something, the more it sticks.
Try for example right now not to think about white elephants.
Just don’t think about them.
Do not think about their trunks or fat white bellies.
…
You’re thinking about them, no?
With healing, you’re not trying to get rid of the feelings (because you can't) — you’re simply allowing them to be and when you feel them, they dissolve on their own. But that’s a consequence, not a purpose. The purpose is to accept and feel.
It may seem counterintuitive, but it’s part of this process of becoming whole: being able to hold dark and light at the same time.
Hope this helps ❤️
Caitlyn
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