It took a doco about my life to 'come out'

Since I was 12, I’ve kept myself secret from my parents.

 We’ve shared life together since then, but yet, I wasn’t there. Not the real me.

What I showed them was a palatable Caitlyn that wouldn’t ruffle their feathers and put me at risk losing their love.

As a pre-teen with a trainer bra and stack of Young Adult fiction, I started wanting things that good Christian girls shouldn’t want. I wanted to go to parties. Drive cars. Have sex. Drink alcohol. Experiment. Experience LIFE.

I didn’t feel I could share this with my parents because they would obviously tell me to stop it. That behavior risked my eternal life! They’d be disappointed.

But my authentic curiosities were brewing and I didn’t want to shut them down…

So I began the rest of my life in secret.

Her body remained, but Caitlyn disappeared in front of Mum and Dad’s eyes in the year 2000.

In her place, I created a mask called ‘Caitlyn’ which I’ve kept alive till age 31.

This mask means my parents have known little of my teen and twenties life. They haven’t really known ME, including the super important and meaningful things to me.

Until this documentary came out and with it, I have come out.

Read More

Big news + 3 lessons on following your heart, even when it's terrifying

Recently, my world turned upside down. I met someone suuuper special and my reality has been thrown into a new relief… Questioning everything I think I know is 'true' or 'likely', I’ve started to realise anything is possible. That the grandest joy and love is really possible—in relationships, career, life. This upside-down, inside-out stuff has also meant that I’m moving countries and going full time with my own projects to be with the man I love. I’ve been abjectly terrified of change, the unknown… And yet, making decisions based on fear, staying stuck, doesn’t appeal. After speaking to mentors, doing iboga twice, asking the cards, asking business advisors, querying entrepreneurs and artists, asking MYSELF — I wrote a blog post the lessons I gathered in taking a deep breath and leaping off the edge to follow my heart. Surrendering to the mystery. About the divine support we (YOU!) have, always, always, always.

Read More

How to master your BIG emotions through shamanic sexuality

One of the many suppressed, denied and judged emotions is anger (and its cousin rage). Many of us lack mastery in knowing what to do with this emotion when it arises inside us. We judge rage, deny it, or accidentally blow up. What if rage isn’t ‘bad’, but we just need masterful connection with it? Mastery is how we respond, not a state where we don't feel emotions at all.

Read More