The heart is the CEO of your life, not your mind
Originally published on Rebelle Society.
How many times have you done something thinking it’s a good idea, only to find that it feels empty, dull or unfulfilling? It seemed like a good idea, but then when you actually did it, it felt flat and just not quite you? Jobs, houses, partners, clothes, parties, friends… Chances are we let our minds make our decisions in those moments. The mind is notoriously obedient to social norms, concerned for what other people think, fearful of the future, and anxious about the past… It’s interested in keeping status quo: safe, predictable and confirming our assumptions about life, even if they’re limiting us and outdated. If we’re wanting to really fly and evolve in this life, the mind is really not best suited to be the CEO of our life.
The heart is your best guidance system
It’s meant to be the real ‘brains’ in your decisions. These decisions may not always seem logical, ‘safe’, or comfortable, but they are your compass to a life that feels authentic and ecstatic. Who you’re meant to be with. Where you’re meant to go. What to do with your time. What kind of art to make. How to make money. How to spend your money…
Your heart is the same heart as the one you had as a child. When your heart is happy, you’re happy. Like a child, your heart doesn’t care so much for social norms and what will impress people. It is authentic, connected to the Now, and feels every inch of the highs and lows involved with being fully alive. Your heart is literally and figuratively the pulse of your life, the marker of your aliveness.
The heart is extremely intelligent because it thinks laterally. Unlike the linear mind which is bound by logic and time, the heart thinks in all directions all at once. It is not bound by time or space and can just intuitively ‘know’ which way to go, what to do, and how to do it. The heart is our gateway to intuitive intelligence. It’s our gateway to expanded awareness, to our soul.
And yet the heart also doesn’t need to ‘know’ with the detail the mind craves. It doesn’t need a five-year plan or verified risk assessment because it’s tapped into the fool-proof magical fabric of existence. Supported by the Way of Life, the flow, the Grand Organised Design, the heart can safely take a step into thin air, knowing that the path will appear before it. Having said that, the heart also doesn’t have the requirements for ‘happiness’ that the enculturated mind often does, so don’t be surprised if the heart is happy without the things you ‘thought’ you needed.
The heart is a doorway to our true nature. Working in tandem with our soul, our heart is the passport that takes us to our truest happiness and purpose-led fulfillment. As those of Hatton say in The Wanderer’s Handbook, “The first and greatest power is surrender, for the heart that has surrendered can hear the song which will lead you… If you wish to
cooperate with destiny, consult your heart before your mind.” It is safe to trust your heart.
Without listening to the heart, you rely on your mind. Someone’s got to do the job of leading your life and making decisions! And the mind is always vying for a say to keep you ‘safe’ and fulfil the expectations that hang around like ghosts. Our mainstream society certainly doesn’t encourage us to notice the message of our intuition and follow our heart.
The mind is interested in logistical, practical, and rational things. Elements of this are necessary in life, but the mind is only meant to support, enact, and execute the vision of our heart, not direct us.
Can the heart and mind be playmates?
The mind can often be afraid of what the heart has to say. I’ve struggled with this majorly. I used to suffer from chronic anxiety in my twenties and while I’ve healed this for the most part, I still experienced an unignorable anxious pain my chest from time to time. At some point, I started to understand that this pain was the feeling of my heart suffocating.
I kept willing the pain to go away, but if you don’t take your finger away from the hot flame, how can you expect your finger to stop burning?
I realised I needed to heal the split between my mind and heart. I needed to allow my heart to drive.
So one day I was meditating and my mind and heart were having a dialogue…
Mind: “Okay, okay! Fine. I will let you out of the cage. I understand that I need you if I want to be truly happy on this planet. I concede that I can’t do this without you.”
Heart: [silence]
Mind: “Why aren’t you talking to me? I am letting you speak, isn’t that what you’ve wanted all these years??”
Heart: “You don’t have the guts to hear what I have to say.”
Mind: [A little offended and taken aback] “Excuse me?”
Heart: “You only want me to say what you WANT to hear. You don’t want to hear my truth.”
Mind: 🤯
My meditation ended. Honestly, my brain had nothing to say, no comeback. I felt completely caught.
Clever, clever heart.
Since that day, I’ve been on a journey of learning to TRUST my heart, even if it’s not what my mind feels is safe and comfortable to hear.
My mind hasn’t exactly enjoyed this whole process. It has kicked and screamed. Wondered and fretted. Feared and regretted. Usual stuff for my lower mind. It has taken conscious choice to notice my thoughts and choose where I put my focus. Do I allow myself to unconsciously loop fearful thoughts or do I choose to remind myself that my heart can be trusted?
We are not really taught to be vigilant of the thoughts that swim around in our heads, but the key is to bring awareness to what’s going on in there and choose which thoughts you give attention to. Think of your mind as a garden and your attention as water. Where you water, the flowers flourish. So, what in your mind do you want to flourish? The fearful thoughts, or the encouraging ones? The constricting ones, or the creative ones?
If your heart genuinely wants it and you can consciously bring your mind to think in accordance with what you desire, the Universe will collaborate with you to make it happen. It might not follow the 1-2-3 plan you’d expect, but you are supported. I’d really recommend Joe Dispenza’s book Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself as a companion on this mind mastery journey.
The adventure
The heart takes you where you genuinely need to go for your evolution and awakening: to learn about love, presence, trust, bliss, joy, your true nature and the true nature of the Universe. It doesn’t necessarily mean the heart will lead you into places that feels safe or familiar. This can feel confronting! Though joy, peace and bliss are within these places if we can allow ourselves to relax and know we’re always safe—we’re supported by Source. This has definitely been major for me.
Following your heart also doesn’t mean that everyday feels like rainbows and bunnies—as a human you will likely still have trials and tribulations. That’s okay, it’s part of life and is unavoidable whether you follow your heart or not. “Pain and pleasure are part of the flow of life” as my mentor, Chantelle Raven, says. This is the stuff the mind definitely resists (it loves comfort zone status quo!), but discomfort is nothing to be afraid of. If you can open to discomfort, you become extremely powerful and available to LIFE. This in and of itself is a spiritual gift to cultivate.
Everything that’s worth doing involves risk and possibly some discomfort: like falling in love, giving birth, starting a new project or business, travelling, and following your heart. By extending out of your comfort
zone, you step into your growth zone. Growth, by definition, is not comfortable. As you settle into your growth zone over time it becomes your new enlarged comfort zone. You’ve just reached larger mastery! And having expanded, you reach even wider, higher, further into territory you didn’t know what available to you. You don’t have to reach so far out of your comfort zone that you end up in panic—listen to your heart to know how far to stretch and when. Be gentle. Ask for support. Learning the language of the heart
The heart speaks in feelings. Images. Sensations. Sometimes it can speak in a flash, but other times it can be more like photographic film in developing solution, taking its time for the picture to appear.
The mind however often speaks in words and statements. It’s fast. Instantaneous. Like a computer.
We are conditioned to pay attention and respect the latter form of intelligence. Think about mainstream school. Pretty much the whole time, we’re taught to be masters of remembering, composing and
processing words, equations, statements, logic… We’re rewarded for our processing speed and recall. Just like a computer.
When were you taught to be curious about your feelings and intuitive knowings? To be curious about their colour, shapes, and textures? When did you learn that your feelings are information? Who taught you feelings were nothing to be afraid of and that in fact, you can surrender to them in a safe way? When did you learn to interpret and process your feelings? How did you come to know these feelings are as valuable (even more so!) than your sums, grades, or ability to remember historical ‘facts’?
Who taught you to intuitively understand how to read symbols and images? Art and literary studies come close at teaching about understanding symbolism and intuitive knowledge, but it’s still very academicised. Who taught you to trust your first hit when you just know something?
Eight practical ways to tune into the heart:
Recalibrate our appreciation and respect of our feelings. Rather than judge them as ‘weak’ or something to be controlled, we need to allow ourselves to feel them. This doesn’t mean getting stuck in your emotions in an endless loop, but rather feel and let go of the feelings as they arise. Mine your feelings for their information. And then follow that intel.
Speak to the heart regularly. Like with your human friends, talking is part of how you get to know each other, understand one another, and build trust. If you don’t talk to your friends, they become… distant. You ‘lose touch’. Your heart is your best friend! Speak and get to know each other again. And, like a friend who we’ve been ignoring, sometimes an apology and honest talking is required. Share why you’ve ignored and been afraid to follow your heart.
Ask it for its wisdom. Ask and you shall receive… Simple as that. But you have to ask.
Give the heart time and space to be heard regularly. You’ve had a chance to share, so now listen to this friend speak back to you. Don’t pre-empt what you ‘think’ the heart might say back. The heart loves quiet, meditative space without the mind running the show. For the heart, spacious time is like air. It’s suffocating without it. Take 5-10 minutes at least everyday to do nothing, but just be in stillness. This is the space in which you can feel the heart speaking.
Understand what closes the heart and don’t do those things. You’ll be able to sense what closes your heart, but basically anything low vibration clashes with the heart: being too in the head, arguing, watching violent films (or anything that is not uplifting), rushing and being overly busy, spending too much time on social media, negative self-talk, being away from nature, mainstream ‘news’, talking to people that bring you down, reaching for your phone every spare moment, overloading your mind, holding onto grudges and trauma. You get the idea!
Do more things the heart loves. This is high vibration things that make you feel good! For me, this includes moving my body, creative projects, being with people I love, laughing, playing with animals, singing, being in nature, being kind to nature, releasing negative thoughts and thinking kind thoughts instead, affirmations, self-pleasure, watching and reading uplifting books and films, meditation, prayer, sending my mum cute messages.
How to know its your heart speaking and not your imagination. We discussed this in detail in this podcast episode with the Intuitive Intelligence Institute. Really practical. Have a listen!
Speak to a practitioner for specific support on ways to reduce negative self chatter and open to the messages of the heart. It’s innate to you, but sometimes we need help to remember. I’m here for 1:1 support, so get in touch about working together.
The heart is your greatest ally. It is a passport to your wildest dreams. You can trust it.
