overthinking = underfeeling

As a smart person, you might notice your mind tries to solve ALL the problems you experience.

Even the problem of you feeling bad.

Feeling jealous.

Feeling sad.

Feeling awkward.

Feeling fear of failure.

Feeling _______.

The mind can do it’s best to help in two ways:

1. Think of THE solution to remove the problem that’s making you feel bad. Just think a little harder — and a little more — we’ll get the solution!
2. Think so much that you only focus on your mind, not on your feelings.

And sometimes these two strategies work together, like Bonnie and Clyde.

Overthinking to avoid feeling (#2) is interesting because it works like addiction.

Addiction is simply a strategy not to feel. Whether it’s porn, eating, working too much, or thumbing IG for too long, it’s a way to distract yourself from what you’re actually feeling.

And it’s fair enough because feeling bad feels… bad. It’s not pleasant.

And especially if we can’t see an easy solution for it, we can feel STUCK with the problem and the difficult feelings it causes.

(It’s very possible that in childhood you learned feeling bad was unavoidable so now your subconscious brain understands that it was true then, it must be true now. So just avoid feeling altogether.)

So thinking-thinking-thinking can be its own distraction. It might even be thinking about the most random other stuff, but simply just not feeling what you're actually feeling.

Signs you're overthinking in order to under-feel  are...

• You're really in your head (and people might tell you that too).

• You don't feel your feelings much, or notice your body.

• When you do notice your body, you feel physical tension like headaches, jaw clenching, or muscle tightness.

• You can go minutes, hours or days just stuck in thought (which could be about quite random things as well as important or stressful things).

• You have trouble focusing on physical things you're doing (cutting carrots, showering, falling asleep, relaxing on the couch, making love) because you're thinking about something else.

• You might feel your centre of gravity is more in your head.

• You have a constant voice or narration going on in your mind that won't let you attention go elsewhere.

• You're constantly analysing: yourself, others the past, the future.

• You find it difficult to make because you're thinking about every possible outcome (also leading to procrastination).

The thing is, this thinking-part thinks it’s the one who can save you from feeling bad. It thinks that IT is the only one there to save the day.

So it tries to save the day it knows how (which is valiant, but limited).

Thiiiiink. Don’t feel.

It’s a strategy this part learned to keep you safe (you possibly learned this when you were small).

But what if you don’t want to be stuck in your head all the time?

What if you want to be more in the present moment, in your body, experiencing life as it’s really happening now?

How can you not get hijacked by this overthinking part?

Take a breath and see if you can feel that thinking part within. Let this part know that it’s not alone. You’re there. The actual you, not just the thinking-part of you.

Maybe you can feel some natural curiosity or compassion toward this part that’s working so hard for you…

See if it can recognise you and feel that you’re there.

This self, the real you, has the answers, naturally. The wisdom. The way out (or through).

Are there any feelings in your body or a relaxing of your mind as it registers you there?

Let the thinking part know that you’re on the same team and would it be open to you batting too… And see if it can relax and let you step in.

Just see. Don’t force it. This is not a positive-thinking bulldozing strategy. It invites all your parts to move in the same direction. Inner synergy.

Notice what happens.

The more you can let your Self be the one that’s in charge, the less you get parts overworking with their clever strategies to avoid you feeling bad.

Your Self, the real you, can handle all of it. And your Self doesn't live in your head. Your mind is just a part of you, it's not you.

If you’re interested in being guided and supported to do this work to be more Self led, not hijacked by overworking parts, join me for my upcoming 2-hour online workshop Out of the Head & Into the Body, or find out about 1:1 mindful-somatic sessions (book a complimentary 30-min discovery call).

Hope this helps.

If you have any questions about overthinking, under-feeling and the practice I just shared, just hit reply!

Love,
Caitlyn

P.S. The waitlist for my next online workshop TUNING IN • TURNING ON is open (get 15% when you join).